Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
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