I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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