im drinking this country out of the recession.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
