You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Houston, we have a blender
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
My penis needs a shock collar
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
