It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
