I wish i was in the wii world.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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