just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
