I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
