So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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