No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
