Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
