Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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