So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
