ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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