Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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