But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
