We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Blow job season was short but glorious.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
