I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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