just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize