i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
