i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
