At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
