of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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