i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
