I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
