My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize