Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
