I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
