Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
