it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
