Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
then he tried to convert me to islam
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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