I'm going to jail i love you
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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