didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
