i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
