hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
