she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
