I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
