The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
