At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
