saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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