If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize