Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
