Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
