so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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