Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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