this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
