someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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