How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
