Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
