I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I think I am morally bankrupt
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
