She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
