we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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