spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I am mentally ready for anal.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
