you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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