Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
