Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
