pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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