hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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