Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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