her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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