Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I need to sanitize my soul.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
