is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize