In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize