I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
