This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
